what do you say?

God has gotten another angel. friday morning grant's grandpa passed away. and i feel like a total idiot b/c me, my mom and sister were all shopping for black friday. grant had called me about our bank account number to pay a bill, and was texting me random stuff, and then he called again and here is the convo...

M: "what do you want now?!" i was saying it sarcastically

G: "my mom just called".... his mom had called tuesday evening letting us know things were getting bad and that is wouldn't be too long

M: feeling horrible
G: " grandpa passed away this morning"
M: "awww honey i am sorry..."

yeah so i felt like total crap... i know he knew i was kidding, but who wants to call with bad news and be greeted by "what do you want now" i was laughing when i said it and i know he knew i was joking, but it was just crappy i guess.

so back to my title what do you say?!?! i am back at work and everyone is asking how my thanksgiving and weekend were. i keep saying good... i mean who wants to hear about death... but then i feel bad for not saying anything like it isn't fair to his grandpa not acknowledging it. i don't know it is just an iffy situation i think. plus i don't think grant has really dealt with it yet. he isn't talking about it at all. once and a while he will make a comment, " i need to go shopping tuesday to get a black belt i can't wear my brown one" or "i think i am going to wear that new shirt and tie i got for that interview". the service is on tuesday and i would really like for him to acknowledge the fact that he is gone but i know men are different. i tried asking him about it and he just says i did deal with it. i told him it is okay to be sad and he says i am sad... but nothing else. so i guess i will just be there for him and try and stay strong and when and if he breaks down i will be there.

i am hoping i can make it through the funeral... i don't do well with funerals. i keep remembering by grandma's funeral and the feelings of that day. i also keep bracing myself for when my mom is going to give me that call saying my grandpa passed. he is getting very tired, and actually fell this past friday also. had to get stitches and everything.... so i am dreading the day my mom calls with that news. i know he has had an amazing life, and just wants to be with his wife again and i am being selfish by wanting him here..... but still i don't want to get that call!

anyway enough of the sadness i guess. i just ask you say a prayer for grant's granpa and family to help them through this tough time.

Rest in Piece Grandpa Mueller. Here is a picture of most of (minus tim who was in iraq) the grandkids 2009 christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Mueller.